Disclaimer (limited series)

So I feel like I am going to use this site more to get out some of my frustrations at things that I watch. Hopefully, I’ll have positive watches that I feel this passionate about in the future. But there will be spoilers.

Disclaimer starts out pretty interesting – intriguing. But it isn’t long before the entire story is so obviously biased. It has several people narrating throughout but by the third episode – things are laid out clearly. An older man named Stephen (Kevin Kline in makeup) has lost his son and his wife and has become a bit delirious…. I believe he puts his wife’s cardigan on in the first episode and never takes it off. He and his wife lost their son, Jonathan, to a drowning accident in Italy where Jonathan went out to save a child from drowning successfully and died in the process. First of all, the story sets up really well. I cared for Jonathan and even Catherine and of course, Nick. So after Stephen loses his teaching job and finds a manuscript written by his late wife along with naked photos of Catherine, decides to destroy her life – specifically her son – by publishing the novel his wife had written which is so obviously riddled with her own thoughts and based on nothing but photos she found from that trip. Stephen mails a copy to Catherine herself and then continues on a path to destroy her life. What really fucking bothers me and bothered me immediately was that not one person was asking HOW anyone would know the information inside the book. Catherine’s husband, Robert, who is the absolute worst character in this story, is spun as a victim. Nicholas is a victim – everyone is a victim of her infidelity…. of course before the very last episode brings light to what we all know — this has all been a fantasy dreamt up by a mean woman who lost her son and looked wherever she could for validation for his death. Including the blame she places on Catherine. This has two episodes in front that build intrigue well enough – then many episodes of complete disregard for the intelligence of its audience, completed with one and a half episodes of what most of us were waiting for — the REAL FUCKING STORY. God shit like this makes me so angry. It’s not a regular movie – I wasted 7 hours watching this. My worst fear was that she was somehow going to be relieved at her husband’s “forgiveness” but thank god that isn’t how it happened.. which is the only reason I give it a 4/10. 3 1/2 good episodes so I think I’m being generous.

This is my letterboxd review:

This is a limited series I committed myself to after the first episode had so much promise. The problem with this is that – and maybe this is the point- but everyone just ignored the fact that this was not written by either person it is told in detail about. I suppose people can forgive the old man in a weird way but I just kept thinking – who is going to actually question the credibility here. If she has built her life on her credibility then why do people believe an old man who can barely speak and wears his dead wife’s cardigan around without any notice? It starts big and then it gets annoyingly hard to watch. The end is good- but I had to sit and watch hours of torture when it’s so fucking clear the story has been altered. And even if it hadn’t – who the hell would know besides her. And she’s just completely pushed aside by her coworkers and worst- her fucking husband. She was nice explaining why she should cut his dick off but won’t by the end. What an asshole. And the entire time I was thinking even if she had done this horrible thing called cheating (that would be nothing if it were him), this old man is not creating justice. Then the truth comes out and I wish all the men were brutally killed (not her son – like my own he is innocent) :))  and the wife was clearly self absorbed in the bits we see before Jonathan dies. It’s not worth your time. I was more annoyed than satisfied and only made it to the end bc I had already dedicated so much of my time.

Vanished

Did you know the finality of the words you spoke
Through gnashing teeth
While coughing up blood
From a hardened heart 
Convinced my sentiment a hoax?

Was the irony lost 
When you cut off the kite string that allowed you to fly
And then vanished on foot?

Desperation held the search party. 
I sucked in a breath of cold air
Bitter realization stole my soul 
As my fate became sealed in the ritual 
of my own self denial

Intestines turning green
Master of self destruction
I tried it all, why wouldn’t I? 
And all the while you made a mockery 
of my 
descent like it was done by design

After a year, still no reply
Same after five
Ten years ago you disappeared 
And I 
could only decipher why
From pieces of memory memorized by a mind 
in shock and dread
The one thing you repeatedly said
Was that I couldn’t be trusted to stay

Would you admit that you were wrong in the end? 
That you were taking revenge on a misconception. 

Could you comprehend yet
that I actually meant 
What I told you back then 
Would you still be content 
If you knew that I spent
ten years while expectantly 
Waiting to hear 
your words spoken again.  

POEM

A Poem to My Mom


Hey mom
Do you mind if I borrow your time?
My best friend is upstairs and she’s totally crying
At 13 years old, confused by the ruse and why her mom doesn’t love like you do

Without hesitation you held her with love and you did it through many years to come.
I watched as you lent her your heart to be brave
You lent it so selflessly to help mend her pain
And you showed her a love she had never been paid

I wish you knew how I saw you right then
Powerfully humble and genuine
But mostly I witnessed the strength you held within
A strength you discreetly handed  your children.

Hey mom
Will you move over so I can get in?
I’m sorry to wake you, I can’t sleep again
Don’t give me that look,  the movie was scary
I’m aware of my age mom, am I not still your baby?
I know you secretly still want to cradle me


I was 18 years old and you didn’t hesitate
To let me sleep with you no matter how late
Or the fact you weren’t even awake
You lifted the covers and I settled in deep
And you even stroked my hair until I was asleep.


Hey mom
You look happy but your smile is beguiling.
A road trip to New Orleans?
This is really exciting!
What made you decide to do this with me? Oh
You’ve noticed I’m sad, this could help, I see
Well, you’ve got no hesitancy coming from me
but
Honestly I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
You coming out of your comfort zone for my well being
Nothing about that idea could be easy
Still the journey began so open and freely.

We spent two nights but we were not done
The night clubs, casinos, it was too much fun.
And we stayed an extra night since we were having a great time
I cherish that trip. It’s a top memory of mine
And I hope that I told you how you were right
I began to really heal because of your sacrifice
Just another example of the mother who raised me
These gestures aren’t small but you made them seem easy.



Hey mom
guess what, I’m having a daughter
Why are you laughing
You think this is karma?
You’ll come visit me though as soon as you can
I need to watch how you did it again
This time I’m going to pay close attention
And watch how you teach her your love and affection.

You loved my kids as much as I do and
I knew I could always come and talk to you
About any detail no matter how small
Your love would shine as you praised them all.


Hey mom
I’m back home now and I’m ok
I don’t talk to you often
But I have so much to say.
Life is busy right now but I’ll try to make time
If you would text then communication would be fine.
It’s actually better to hear your voice
Or see you when we get that choice.

I miss you so much I don’t really know now
If I’m going to get through this without telling you how
My kids are doing so I can hear you praise them
Or to talk your ear off knowing you actually listen.

It was unexpected and I wish I could have said a proper goodbye
Though what would I have said..

Thank you for being my mom
Thank you for a million more examples I can’t begin to list

First blog

11/4/2021

I’ve been setting up this site and just slowly filling it with pieces I’ve already written. It’s frightening to write in the present on a public website. I had to start this though and that’s because my mom died last weekend; Saturday October 23rd. She was 77 and that’s a long life but it was unexpected. We were talking about recipes we would never get to try with one another now. She just got sick with some infection and died. It’s such a strange feeling to lose your mom. I mean, there’s like a physical void I feel that’s painful and hollow. And I know that I will get better, I believe I will just get used to the hollow. Because there just isn’t anything that replaces my mom.

I am attempting poetry but we will see if that lands. I’m kind of creatively in shock for now.

I did, however; take the week to be in a movie watching event. I had to watch 30 movies and rate and review them within a week. So over in my movie reviews section, I’ll talk about that more.

Write any kind of comment/question you like. And thanks for reading. Below is my mother’s obituary.

https://www.kleinfh.com/obituary/linda-barton