Did you know the finality of the words you spoke
Through gnashing teeth
While coughing up blood
From a hardened heart
Convinced my sentiment a hoax?
Was the irony lost
When you cut off the kite string that allowed you to fly
And then vanished on foot?
Desperation held the search party.
I sucked in a breath of cold air
Bitter realization stole my soul
As my fate became sealed in the ritual
of my own self denial
Intestines turning green
Master of self destruction
I tried it all, why wouldn’t I?
And all the while you made a mockery
of my
descent like it was done by design
After a year, still no reply
Same after five
Ten years ago you disappeared
And I
could only decipher why
From pieces of memory memorized by a mind
in shock and dread
The one thing you repeatedly said
Was that I couldn’t be trusted to stay
Would you admit that you were wrong in the end?
That you were taking revenge on a misconception.
Could you comprehend yet
that I actually meant
What I told you back then
Would you still be content
If you knew that I spent
ten years while expectantly
Waiting to hear
your words spoken again.