The Controversy of PseudoScience in a Pseudo World

I couldn’t sleep so I grabbed my phone to sift through the major headlines on google chrome (catered to my history searches) for something interesting.  I don’t know why I read this really long article but I know why I clicked on it. [ Here is where I would insert the name of said article but it is gone now and doesn’t show in my history that I just checked.]  I had to hurry up and get back to typing because I was already getting sucked into a new article (I wonder why I can’t sleep?).  The article headline implied it was about a tennis player who uses healing water crystals.  Now, I don’t know what water crystals are exactly but I am very much into the power of healing crystals and healing ourselves with mindfulness.  With that admitted, I am going to attempt my thoughts on all of what I read. 

First, the main story is about a tennis player who would not get vaccinated and therefore was not allowed to play in a tournament.  The tennis player was interviewed and seemed fairly unfazed by this missed opportunity.  His reasons for not getting vaccinated were about the business, politics and propaganda portion of selling information.  He had an interesting viewpoint because he talks about living in Serbia when the Soviets were using propaganda to brainwash people. 

The article, then,  switches up and details a scientist who conducted experiments with water by labeling the bottled water things like “I love you” and “I hate you” then freezing it and looking at the molecular structure afterwards.  He claims that the positive water had a more geometric shape than the negative water.  There is more to this in the article but you get the gist.  So the rest of the article is opinion after opinion from scientists who clearly find this idea to be part of the problem of debunking scientific evidence.  Social media isn’t a place I like to discuss or argue with people about what they believe or I believe so I’m writing this here.  In my little home on the internet.  Stay with me. 

I recognize the ridiculous amount of conspiracy theories surrounding science these days.  However, I also see how easily it can be to fall into these beliefs since they veer away from the more common mass thought that backs “science”. For years now, journalism has become nothing short of a contest of who gets the most clicks. But for many many years before this phenomena,  people relied on the news/journalists to give them accurate information.  It has become abundantly clear that we can no longer do that.  Just watch two different channels cover the same story and you’ll see how they manipulate each story to fit the narrative that coincides with the belief they generally line up with. So losing that trust after so many years, it makes sense that people feel betrayed and lost.  We are left with people who still believe they can trust a news channel or article to relay information as an unbiased medium and we have people who see the bullshit and run in the opposite direction falling down a rabbit hole of internet stories from who knows where.  Everyone just wants to know what’s up but they can no longer believe the people who tell us, or they do believe them and drink bleach to get rid of COVID.  The underlying problem is nobody has anyone they can trust because nobody is actually trustworthy.  And that sucks. 

It’s a scary place to live in your mind; not having any trust in your government or in the information they tell you and it has caused such a huge divide in our country.  People pick a side and stick to it with such conviction that they hate anyone who thinks differently.  And it’s all or nothing.  You can’t be pro choice and anti vaccine even though the logic there is exactly the same.  But none of this is about logic.  It’s about the loss we are all going through now; the loss of trust and safety and knowledge.   We’ve lost the ability to empathize with people who have lost loved ones because the disease doesn’t fit into their beliefs about what is the truth.  I’ve read comments by my neighbors who can’t even empathize with the homeless anymore.  This is a dangerous phase because if we don’t do something then all we have left to lose is our humanity. And that scares me most of all.   My mental health took a hit since the pandemic started and mostly it was because I was watching people just treat other people with such disdain, which really means they are feeling disdain for themselves.  

Ok so back to the original water scientist and the millions who call him crazy.  I kept waiting for the article to address this but it never did.  We understand that daily affirmations are a healthy way to keep yourself in a good mindset to face tough days.  We understand that if we look in the mirror and point out all the things wrong then that is bad for our mental health.  So throw away the “science” behind what this guy was doing and look at it as a whole.  Each scientist said it was important to always keep an open mind because things are always changing.  Every single quote had that line in it somewhere.  But an open mind would mean seeing this water experiment as something bigger than just acting as if water isn’t inanimate.   However the fear that scientists are now plagued with in making sure people know what is real and not real, makes them dismiss the entire idea that positive thinking or writing or speaking it out loud could possibly alter anyone’s brain who hears or thinks or reads the positive remark.  And that  is more anti-science than anything else being said out there.  

My point and the strong idea I want to share is about these ludicrous extremes and how there is very little room for thought.  At a time when people or even journalists and news stations are giving false information or half researched information as truth, it makes sense that scientists, or anyone who is an expert in a field that is misrepresented, become upset and determined to set things straight, unfortunately breaking their very own rule of keeping an open mind.  Science is as ever changing as any other field.  Scientists are the ones who continually find new ways to look at things and then come up with new solutions.  They are allowed to think one thing and 10 years later realize there is something else that is better for the original research. It’s always changing and always growing.   When you really look at the context we now live under, it’s easy to understand all of the sides and why people have become so hateful.  Fear is the most common emotion that instigates hatred.  And everyone is afraid.  

As professionals, like scientists, begin to obsess over telling people what is well researched and what isn’t, they are beginning to act erratically.  Not taking anything into account that questions the research they do.  And now, we are at a time where we have to question because we don’t know who to trust.  

But we trust ourselves.  It seems.  As I said earlier, the divide in the country is filled with strong convictions based on nothing.  But people believe it because they want to.  Crystal or Aura or Meditation and Chakra healing is as old as time.  The overall theme being to open your heart and mind and declutter the bullshit so that we can get some clarity and some peace.  

When I was laid off, because of the pandemic, from a small office where I  had a huge role in making it successful, I was devastated.  I had been told I would come back once things were better.  However, my old boss recanted that idea and avoided my texts and moved on to hire less experienced and less expensive people. That broken trust almost broke me.   What will I do now? I am a writer really but I have no professional experience.  I applied to many places but it didn’t matter because I wasn’t the same.  I was off and miserable and I couldn’t get over it.  And what took a long time to realize was that I needed to change something within myself. I came to terms a while back with my life philosophy of meditation and healing by clearing negative thoughts.  But this time, it was taking a lot of work.  I have crystals and candles and I open my chakras and try to balance my energy.  Eventually I felt better.  These are what have worked for me.  Now, whether or not it’s real by any scientific means makes no real difference to me.  And it shouldn’t matter to you.  I won’t push it on you because believing in it may be the reason it works.   But to dismiss the idea that positive thinking attracts positivity, is close minded.  Plato often misquoted Socrates as saying  “I know I know nothing” however Socrates himself never actually admitted knowing that and said something more on the lines of “I believe that I know nothing”.  How humble to not allow yourself the arrogance of knowing you don’t know but just believing it.  If we could all understand ourselves in this way, it would help bring back the empathy we are missing so badly.  I’m afraid we won’t get it back.  You don’t need to endorse anything you don’t believe but open your mind enough to at least believe that you may not know everything.  We need a different strategy as a collective.  If we could all believe in ourselves without comparing that belief to another, the peace we would be providing the world may be just what we need.  I believe that but I don’t know it.  We would have to try. 


Did you know the finality of the words you spoke
Through gnashing teeth
While coughing up blood
From a hardened heart 
Convinced my sentiment a hoax?

Was the irony lost 
When you cut off the kite string that allowed you to fly
And then vanished on foot?

Desperation held the search party. 
I sucked in a breath of cold air
Bitter realization stole my soul 
As my fate became sealed in the ritual 
of my own self denial

Intestines turning green
Master of self destruction
I tried it all, why wouldn’t I? 
And all the while you made a mockery 
of my 
descent like it was done by design

After a year, still no reply
Same after five
Ten years ago you disappeared 
And I 
could only decipher why
From pieces of memory memorized by a mind 
in shock and dread
The one thing you repeatedly said
Was that I couldn’t be trusted to stay

Would you admit that you were wrong in the end? 
That you were taking revenge on a misconception. 

Could you comprehend yet
that I actually meant 
What I told you back then 
Would you still be content 
If you knew that I spent
ten years while expectantly 
Waiting to hear 
your words spoken again.  


A Poem to My Mom

Hey mom
Do you mind if I borrow your time?
My best friend is upstairs and she’s totally crying
At 13 years old, confused by the ruse and why her mom doesn’t love like you do

Without hesitation you held her with love and you did it through many years to come.
I watched as you lent her your heart to be brave
You lent it so selflessly to help mend her pain
And you showed her a love she had never been paid

I wish you knew how I saw you right then
Powerfully humble and genuine
But mostly I witnessed the strength you held within
A strength you discreetly handed  your children.

Hey mom
Will you move over so I can get in?
I’m sorry to wake you, I can’t sleep again
Don’t give me that look,  the movie was scary
I’m aware of my age mom, am I not still your baby?
I know you secretly still want to cradle me

I was 18 years old and you didn’t hesitate
To let me sleep with you no matter how late
Or the fact you weren’t even awake
You lifted the covers and I settled in deep
And you even stroked my hair until I was asleep.

Hey mom
You look happy but your smile is beguiling.
A road trip to New Orleans?
This is really exciting!
What made you decide to do this with me? Oh
You’ve noticed I’m sad, this could help, I see
Well, you’ve got no hesitancy coming from me
Honestly I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
You coming out of your comfort zone for my well being
Nothing about that idea could be easy
Still the journey began so open and freely.

We spent two nights but we were not done
The night clubs, casinos, it was too much fun.
And we stayed an extra night since we were having a great time
I cherish that trip. It’s a top memory of mine
And I hope that I told you how you were right
I began to really heal because of your sacrifice
Just another example of the mother who raised me
These gestures aren’t small but you made them seem easy.

Hey mom
guess what, I’m having a daughter
Why are you laughing
You think this is karma?
You’ll come visit me though as soon as you can
I need to watch how you did it again
This time I’m going to pay close attention
And watch how you teach her your love and affection.

You loved my kids as much as I do and
I knew I could always come and talk to you
About any detail no matter how small
Your love would shine as you praised them all.

Hey mom
I’m back home now and I’m ok
I don’t talk to you often
But I have so much to say.
Life is busy right now but I’ll try to make time
If you would text then communication would be fine.
It’s actually better to hear your voice
Or see you when we get that choice.

I miss you so much I don’t really know now
If I’m going to get through this without telling you how
My kids are doing so I can hear you praise them
Or to talk your ear off knowing you actually listen.

It was unexpected and I wish I could have said a proper goodbye
Though what would I have said..

Thank you for being my mom
Thank you for a million more examples I can’t begin to list

First blog


I’ve been setting up this site and just slowly filling it with pieces I’ve already written. It’s frightening to write in the present on a public website. I had to start this though and that’s because my mom died last weekend; Saturday October 23rd. She was 77 and that’s a long life but it was unexpected. We were talking about recipes we would never get to try with one another now. She just got sick with some infection and died. It’s such a strange feeling to lose your mom. I mean, there’s like a physical void I feel that’s painful and hollow. And I know that I will get better, I believe I will just get used to the hollow. Because there just isn’t anything that replaces my mom.

I am attempting poetry but we will see if that lands. I’m kind of creatively in shock for now.

I did, however; take the week to be in a movie watching event. I had to watch 30 movies and rate and review them within a week. So over in my movie reviews section, I’ll talk about that more.

Write any kind of comment/question you like. And thanks for reading. Below is my mother’s obituary.