Drowning

Your words are my vice like
a parasite that ignites
my fears
and incites me
to tears
deep inside
you applied this
unwanted spy but
it still resides and
you’ve disappeared


I dream of the times when our minds would align
with the stars in the sky
with a shine so divine that
the exposure seemed fine and our trust was the blind
kind
of like feigning our truth
and remaining with presumably nothing to hide

I was denying the obvious
blind swinging with weakened fists
grasping to rewind all this
But you still left me despite of the length of that hike
the one I hike every night
remembering the fright
and the might in my fight
before I met you but after the loss of my light

your parasite needs a host that’s alive to survive
and I’m trying
but it’s tiring
this continual unwinding
from who I was and who I am
and how you could never understand that
the touch of your hand
Can
put me to sleep
remind me to weep
forget my defeat

My head treads above water
and the shallow end gets farther
away
I’m afraid
that I’ll drown
you’re not around
to be sure I’m ok
to be sure that I make it
across where we planned

I can’t stand
I can’t stand
I can’t stand without you
I can’t handle this too.
I can still hear the wounds in my head
causing dread
and confusion, the illusion drenched in red
and I search for restitute
But all is black,
I am blind,
I am deaf,
I am mute
But I still hear his words
That demanded my courage

But now I am stranded
abandoned and branded
I just need a bandage
To protect from infection
And nourish the reflection
Of the pain you injected instead of protecting me

Like you promised.










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